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I think as I ate my strawberry strudle this morning, that I somehow managed to also consume a piece of the plastic packaging. Maybe not, I'm not really sure. But, I do feel like it. Not that this is important, rather, it's just that I'm in a mood to ramble. Oh dear. I hope this doesn't turn out to be one of those days where you would die for fun. I'm still snowed in, and my mind is laughing itself away. Also, I'm concerned about my supply of ginger ale, as to whether or not it will last throughout the week. But, then again, this isn't really important. I'd rather not mention the important things, actually, because it almost makes them....a detail. And most definately they are not a detail, they are the comprising force of everything that is. And those kinds of things do not have words which you could use to disclose them sufficiently. And in light of "my army of lesbians will destroy everything", you must divulge in Ambient Strippers
Sometimes I remember things, real memories, and it makes me a bit depressed. Like right now. But then I remember some of the people involved, and I'm glad I'm not there anymore. And, even better, I look at where I am now, and then everything is alright. Now that we've ventured through my whole thought process of half a second, let's continue.
I just realized how I feel right now! I'm bored and lonely. This calls for doing something haphazard and desultory! I have suspicions that I'm acting a bit insane today....I really must have cabin fever. I think I'll try skateboarding on ice again.....
Woo!!!
My conclusion is: arthritis makes you bipolar. ^.^
Woo!
And this is one of the greatest stories ever, it almost inspired a sappy little tear: Father Groove: "My army of lesbians will destroy everything."
Seriously...it's wonderful. Yay!
Ashiteru!
If I could choose a day to die, it would be a day like today.
However, it is fun to skateboard on ice. That's close enough to dieing. Woo!
J'aime vous
(four hours and fifteen minutes later)
One time, not that long ago, someone loved me. Even longer than that, I loved someone. But things fall apart, everything comes crashing around you. The motto isn't "kick 'em while they're down" it's "beat them, smash them, break them, crush them into the ground as far as they'll go while they're down". It truly is. What happens to happiness? Does it just up and drift away one day? I was happy last week. I was happy with where I was. Of course, I haven't been loved in a while now. But I was okay with that. Once you've been lonely for long enough, it's all okay. It's not so bad. But then, you meet someone, and you aren't so lonely anymore. And by Gods! You even find yourself happy. But what happens? No one cares. At all. You find that life is entirely pointless. What are we living for? For tomorrow? For the next caress? Just one more smile? What am I going to do? Go to college? Woo! That's so exciting! Then! I'll get to pay bills and have a job. Wow, there's life for you. And they keep saying that love is what life is for. But what if love doesn't exist? I sincerely don't think that it does. No one cares about anyone else anymore. And if you do, the best thing to do is to hide it, because you know that you'll just be laughed at and it will be thrown in your face. I'm so sick of this game. What if, for one day, you could go around and tell everyone how you truly felt about them. That would make things so much clearer. But that will never happen. We'll all be left in a dark, foggy little world, pretending to love. Never loving. Never realizing love. What's wrong with me? I think if I could find out what makes me cry, what makes my world beaten down, then maybe I could fix it. I just want someone in this world to care.....I don't want to be lonely anymore. I'm sick of it all. Wee!! I'm going to go run around in the snow and dance like I'm alive!
I've decided that I don't like being a human. I'd rather be a beta fish in a rum bottle.
Amo vivam
Woo!
I tried out for Taming of the Shrew on Tuesday, HOPEFULLY I got a part, but, most likely, I didn't. Oh well, oh well, we shall see. Today has been a wonderful day. A smiling day. Wee! And I'm very excited about Friday.
Oh yes, huit femme (8 women), crazy movie. Very random. Very B. It will make you smile.
Amor! Amor! Amor!
"When one world ends
something else begins
but without a scream
just a whisper because we
just start it over again"
I don't feel so beautiful today. I don't feel so loved today. I don't feel.....today. Just the sounds of drums and screams in my head, trying to soothe me. I can't seem to make it loud enough, though, not loud enough to make me feel better. I'm afraid. Everything crumbles away, shatters, breaks, bleeds, dies.....I'm so afraid. I don't want to cry. I haven't cried in so long. It's so easy to be made of plastic, I don't want to be real again. It always hurts to be real.
L'amour est tout nous avons besoin de.
Garder la maxime il.
Life...it's just so wonderful. It's ironic twists and curves. The way it is the world...and everything ties into it,and only it. It doesn't have to branch out to find seekers..it is the seekers. Maybe when religious people speak of Gods, they are really trying to personify the un-reality of life that is the ultimate reality. So beautiful. It's sadness, pain, sorrows, complexity, simplicity,it is the emodiment of perfection. If I believe in love....it is only the love of life. Many people search out answers for this life...for what it is. Why it is. How it is. I just want to submerge myself in the center of this sticky life web and wrap it around me. Inhale as much as I can..breathe as much as I can feel...live live live...I want this life. Oh..I'm in love. I love to feel, to need, to be. It makes me human. Why search for the way to make yourself above human? Above reasoning and feeling. Why try to be a robot? Paint your heart grey and pretend that it's stone. No...I live..that's what I do. mmmm....And now..there's a certain intoxicating smell that drifts me away...into the sweet arms of this world that is nothing, really, in the span of time. But I love it...Oh, I do.
It may not be the only thing I'm becoming attached to.
I'm going insane. Yes...I can't stand this..I'm just waiting..Just anxiously waiting..maybe even for something that will never come..BUT I CAN'T STAND IT! I can't sleep, eat, anything..my head even hurts. I just want....I just want to know what the future holds right now. I feel like I need it. I would rather know, no matter the outcome, than feel like this...with this pounding in my head. I CAN'T STAND IT! ARGARAGARARARARAGH. *breathe*breathe* I will live...yes..yes...
check out my website.
~Stella Morte~
You never realize how humorously insane you are...or how entertaining lifesize cardboard cutouts are, until you spend four hours with one....
I gave my friend a lifesize cardboard cutout of Angel from Buffy....hahahaha
Oh man...It was RIDICULOUS! Sincerely ridiculous...that's all I can really say. Just use your imagination.
Other than that..
hmm..
Listening to Misfits.
Oh! Yes! I went adventuring with Play Boy the horse today...we had much fun, much fun.
Yes, life is good....
Though I'm a little nervous about about something which will not be disclosed, but it's a silly nervousness anyway. Oh well...time will reveal, eh?
HAPPY NEW YEARS! Spread love and peace on this day and year!
This is my daily Buddhist wisdom for today:
Now, there are many, many people in the world, but relatively few with whom we interact, and even fewer who cause us problems. So, when you come across such a chance for practicing patience and tolerance, you should treat it with gratitude. It is rare. Just as having unexpectedly found a treasure in your own house, you should be happy and grateful to your enemy for providing that precious opportunity
I actually liked it...very insightful.
Woo!
J'aime vous!
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