She's Perfect in a Fucked Up Way 

She's Perfect in a Fucked Up Way

I can't believe it...I thought it'd go away. I thought I'd be okay eventually. I thought it would be alright by now. I've been crying for three days. Three days straight. I've never not been able to handle something. Never.

I've always found a way to pick up myself and find a way to duct tape or glue it all together....but not anymore. There are just too many shards this time...not even complete pieces, I guess. I can't take it. I've never not been able to not take something. I can always handle my pain. I can always find a way to control my emotions and mind. Not this time. I'm fucking crazy. I can't stop crying. I can't focus on anything. Drinking doesn't even help. Nothing does. I can't eat, sleep, I can't even be distracted. What has happened to me?

I really cannot handle something. My mind is no longer mine......What have you done to me? I'm going to end up dying because of this. I really cannot hold on much longer. I'm so fucking unstable. I cannot accept this pain. I cannot take this stress. All at once, building on me. I'm a fucking lunatic now. Lock me away. I can't be alone. I need you. Yes, that's right, I NEED you. I've never actually needed another person entirely like this.


Isn't there another way? Do I have to feel like this? Can't it just be fixed? God damnit!!!!! Do you have to do this? I'm going to crack apart, anytime, I don't know when...but I can feel it. This is finally too much for me. What can I do?

Why? Can I just find a way to hate you?